Man Tosses Penis
Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them — his penis.
Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.
“We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own,” said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.
Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik’s penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.
Unfortunately, there was no photo with the story. However, I did write a short song, to the tune of “Jack & Jill”.
Jakub Fik cut off his dick and threw it at a copper,
Cop took it home, replaced his own, his wife said “what a whopper”!
Only In America | stu | 
March 20, 2006 12:13 am
By ChaCha
, June 16, 2007 @ 6:01 am
With a name like Jakub Fik, I can assure you that man is NOT a native born American. In America, his name would more likely be spelled Jacob Fick…thus, in conclusion, this nutbag probably came from another country to take up residence in the all-desirable America.