Tony’s Toilet Triangulator

A friend pointed me to The National Public Toilet Map this morning. At first I thought it was a joke. Then I saw the TLD – gov.au, and I remembered: our government doesn’t have a sense of humour. Then I looked closer at the site. Maybe someone there does have a sense of humour. After a quick look, I spotted the Department of Health and Ageing logo in the top left.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. The Hon. Tony Abbott is the minister of Public Toilets! It all makes so much sense, the perfect minister for the perfect job. Here is a graphical re-enactment of the minister hard at work.

Tony Abbott, Minister for Public Toilets

Here are some of my favourite bits from the site.

Use our Trip Planner to identify toilet stops for a journey. They should also include a digestion calculator so you’ll know exactly when you’ll need to stop. “If you eat Maccas for lunch, expect to stop within the next 150km to regurgitate your meal”.

Register for My Toilet Map to save your trips, favourite destinations and public toilets. Favourite public toilets??? My Toilet Map??? I don’t even know where to start with this one.

Find options include opening hours, toilet features and access features. Public toilets have opening hours? I didn’t know they were that exclusive. I love the “features” comment. “Complete with 2 luxurious troughs, 3 sinks (1 working), and a standard type F crapper. Perfect for the on-the-go family.”

Subscribe to our newsletter… Yeah. Welcome to “Tony’s Toilet Time”, for all your defecatory needs. It’ll go nicely alongside my other regular emails: “The Viagra Report” and “Cheap Mortgages Monthly”.

Oh, and did I mention that this is all part of the National Continence Management Strategy?

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categories Humour | stu | datetime April 21, 2006 4:59 pm

1 Comment

  • By folstaph AUSTRALIA, April 24, 2006 @ 10:02 am

    Stu,

    How am i saupposed to look at boring trades all day when I have such entertainment at my fingertips????

    your site is gold, maccas employees are just disgruntled cos they can’t get into their TAFE course of choice, dont let them get you down!!

    ok time for another lap of the office and perhaps some burger rings

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