Memorial Service

The following people are banned from appearing at my memorial service:

• John Williamson
• Cameron Diaz
• John Howard
• The Blue Wiggle
• Steve Irwin
• John Williamson

Seriously though – the crocoseum has to be the most appropriate place to fill full of Queenslanders crying crocodile tears. My memorial service must include the following:

1. All speeches must finish with “he saved my life”.
2. There must be a video of outtakes from my life.
3. There should be a live video cross to the Annual Gloucestershire ‘Cheese Rolling and Wake’.

Go forth and do my bidding!

Work

Attention fellow simians.

I am now in the business of water conservation and recycling. This officially makes me an “environmentalist, conservationist, and all-round nice guy”.

Suck on that.

I start next Monday. In the meantime, here is today’s quiz:

Well, he puts his cigar
Out in your face just for kicks
His bedroom window
It is made out of bricks
The national guard stands around his door

Who is he?

(Joel, if you answer, I will automatically disqualify you for cheating)

More Bush Quotes

Good news, Google lovers!

My beloved George W. Bush quote generator can now be added to your personalised Google home page! What exciting times we live in. I’ll fix up the Wiggles security thing as well, although that’s not that popular.

So how to work it? Simply click the following button!

Tremble in fear at my two types of quote generator!

Bruce Choy Cup

Last night saw the annual Bruce Choy cup, followed by the Chem Eng dinner.

The cup was a closely contested affair, with my beloved fourth year/postgrad team playing out a dour nil-all draw with the lowly first years. A penalty shootout saw us go through to face the hot favourite second-years in the finals. unfortunately, they were way too good for us, and we went down three nil.

The day was an hilarious affair, possibly due to there being around 45 players on the field at any one time.

Then the action started. After a quick detour to Manning for a refreshing beverage, it was on to Urban Bites at Newtown. The SUCES exec had decided to scrap the traditional “restaurant” style dinner in favour of a “wanky-cafe” type soiree. The booze was in short supply, and so we quickly hoarded a few bottles of indescribably poor wine, and whatever beers we could get our hands on. The food was not brilliant, but it could have been worse. After ordering our mains and being asked what sides we would like – chips, vegies, mash or wedges – we waited patiently until everyone else has finished their dinner before being served. Everyone was given wedges. The steak was quite nice, but unfortunately it was served medium well-done, in stark contrast to the brilliant red rareness I was expecting. however, a good time was had by all, and we retired to the Marlborough Bar for some good old fashioned boozing.

In conclusion, forget the Urban Bites, forget cheap wine, if you want to have a good night, just grab a pile of Chem Eng characters and head out to the pub. I’ll be there.