The new arms race
The main selling point, for me at least, of the online arm of the increasingly tabloidal SMH, is the opportunity to delve into the minds of “ordinary Austalia”. Well, the kind of “ordinary Australia” that likes to spend their valuable time arguing with other “ordinary Australians” in the comments section at the end of an SMH blog.
Anyway, came upon this little gem at the end of a vacuous blog about yesterday’s DPRK nuclear test.
We need Nukes of our own if we are to keep up with the Asian and Sub-Continental powers. With our stand against terrorism and our troops all over the world we need better close personal protection, that if needed can reach out as fast as the other Nuclear powers in our region. Its will also act as a deterrent.
* Posted by: Warren Hunt at October 10, 2006 04:45 PM
Thank you very much, Warren. You’ve hit the nail on the head, but I don’t think you quite followed your train of thought through to the commercial possibilities. Here’s my sales pitch.
How many times have you (and by you, I mean the rhetorical you, not Warren) been working late at uni, and had to walk through the back streets of Redfern to get to the train station at 11pm. Have you heard the stories about muggings, assaults, and other crimes against white folk perpetuated by those demons of darkness, the inhabitants of “The Block”?
What you need is close personal protection. The kind of close personal protection that can only be provided by a miniature tactical thermonuclear device.
Throw out those knuckle-dusters, nunchucks, and cans of mace. Here at pers-O-nuke, we have the complete solution to all your safety needs. The PocketRocket™ is a fully functional 5kT nuclear device, capable of self propulsion for ranges of up to 500m. Its slimline design looks great next to your iPod, and the whole unit weighs just 5.6 kilograms.
The detonation trigger has three handy modes – timed, remote, or manual – so you’ll never have to fumble around with messy access codes again. The device also comes with inbuilt Bluetooth support, so it can be activated with your mobile phone or other Bluetooth-enabled device! Plus, the PocketRocket™ is now available in three stylish colours – black, gun-metal grey, or our new pastel pink for the more colour-coordinated amongst us.
Never be afraid to leave the house at night again! Get PocketRocket™ today!
October 11, 2006 9:55 am 
By foster the imposter
, October 11, 2006 @ 12:38 pm
perfect.
By Drew
, October 11, 2006 @ 8:00 pm
where can i buy one?
By wombat
, October 11, 2006 @ 9:15 pm
this is pure, unadulterated gold. want to write a book with me??
By sarah
, October 13, 2006 @ 3:57 pm
PINK!!!!!! Oh YES!!! any chance i could put in a bulk order for HOT PINK? to match my room?
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives and right now i intend to test this theory on my work load….