Zombie drivers invade Sydney
The dead man was driving towards the city along the M4 at Eastern Creek, in Sydney’s west, at about 9am today, when he apparently began to move onto the M7 exit ramp, police said.
He was then reported to have attempted to return to the M4, but his Ford Falcon slid sideways across the busy freeway before hitting a four-wheel drive Nissan Patrol and coming to a stop against the centre guard rail.
Police said the accident had caused extensive delays on the M4 eastbound and motorists were urged to delay their travel or avoid using the motorway.
As reported in the SMH today, zombie drivers are causing traffic chaos on our streets. The State Government have been caught completely unprepared yet again, prompting a further decline in support for Morris Iemma’s team in the leadup to the state election.
Tuesday saw traffic reach a standstill as punters flocked to see the arrival of Australia’s own soon-to-be-Queen Mary of Denmark, only to find instead 148,528 tons of steel floating in Sydney Harbour. The disappointed commuters were then forced to wait for hours to leave, as an accident on the Harbour Bridge and the closure of the Cross City Tunnel (or the Harbour Tunnel if you watch Channel 7 news) locked up the city.
Yesterday Morris Iemma pledged that “never again” would a traffic jam of this magnitude occur in the city. Less than 24 hours later, zombie drivers have again thrown our transport system into chaos.
To add further to Iemma’s woes, it was revealed that the zombie was driving unlicenced, as his former licence was revoked when he died. At this stage no charges have been brought against the zombie, and the RTA is refusing to comment, although the 131-500 info line issued the following statement:
Welcome to the transport infoline. Please make a selection from the following options:
For timetable and fare enquiries, press 1.
For latest service interruptions and planned trackwork, press 2.
For special events transport, press 3.
For T-card enquiries, press 4.
For other call types, including feedback calls, press 5.
To repeat menu, press 8.
Sydney faces it’s biggest challenge yet when Dick Cheney hits town tonight. Not only will the city be closed down every time he wants to go out to order a pizza (or a pie, as he likes to call it), but he has also reportedly brought his shotgun collection, and plans to go hunting. The inrush of casualties from any such outing is predicted to drive more zombies onto out roads, as hell starts to fill up with lawyer friends of Cheney’s.
My advice? Get out now, while you still can.
February 22, 2007 12:37 pm 4 Comments
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By foster the imposter
, February 22, 2007 @ 2:53 pm
you cheeky little bastard
you are a syntax nazi!!!!
gold stuff!!
By sarah
, February 22, 2007 @ 3:20 pm
syntax error
By bungalow j. wombat
, February 22, 2007 @ 3:39 pm
dude, we drove dead to band practice every saturday morning after evenings at the county claire.
By Joel
, February 24, 2007 @ 2:37 pm
aaaah, the claire