Welcome to my new section: days since Joel’s last classic schooner rant. Despite numerous attempts by the good people here at Marsupial Music, Joel is NOT an internet celebrity yet. I attribute this to his lack of schooner rants.
Now you can encourage Joel by posting this handy counter on your page.
<script type="text/javascript" language="javascript" src="http://marsupialmusic.net/stu/scripts/schooner.php"></script>
Well, six Super 8 games left to play, and there are only a handful of questions left unanswered:
- Who killed Bob Woolmer?
- Will Allen Stanford’s inaugural Twenty20 tournament knock the pointless 50-over version of the game out of existence?
- Will the world cup final rate higher than Benny Hinn’s This Is Your Day?
Oh, and Ireland (presumably) qualified for the 2011 World Cup by beating Bangladesh last night. Here is my proposed format for the 2011 tournament:
- Teams are divided into two groups: evenly ranked teams in one group, oddly ranked teams in the other group.
- Each group plays a round robin, with each team playing seven matches over seven consecutive days.
- On the eighth day, the top team from each group plays in the final to decide the winner.
- The ten test-playing nations get back to the real form of cricket, while everyone else buggers off home.
Brilliant!
That’s right – I scored my first points in the broadsheet letter writing challenge today, and with my headstart in the bank, I thought I’d announce the competition officially.
The aim? To fill the major broadsheet newspapers of the world with your letters, opinions, and mindless ramblings.
The rules? You get one point for every word published (excluding titles and bylines). If you get two or more seperate items published in the one paper in a day, you get a two or more times multiplier on every word published.
If the same thing is published in 2 or more papers, you score each time for it (eg Heckler, which gets published in Sydney, Melbourne and Brisvegas).
You cannot enter if your name is Sandra K. Eckersley from Marrickville.
To claim points, you need to blockquote your published contribution into the comments section of this page. You should also stick it on your fridge door as proof that you didn’t just make the whole thing up.
If the competition gets exciting, there may be prizes. If it doesn’t, there definitely will not be.
Competition runs from 1/1/2007 until 31/12/2007, inclusive.
Current leader board:
Me: 44 points.
NJ Broadbent (NYC): 6 points
Are we up to the semifinals yet? This tournament is ridiculous.
With 10 matches yet to play, the semifinal line-up can be decided by just one clash: England vs South Africa on the 17th of April. If South Africa win, England are out, and the top four will be Australia, NZ, Sri Lanka and South Africa (assuming that Sri Lanka can amass the courage to overcome Ireland, or failing that, one of Australia or New Zealand).
If England win, then two matches come into play: South Africa vs New Zealand (which is played before the ENG vs RSA game) and England vs West Indies (the final match of the super 8 series). Should one team win while the other loses, they will go through. If they both win, then Sri Lanka need to win one game to stay in, and the highest run rate out of England and South Africa will go through. Note that, in this situation, it is theoretically possible for Sri Lanka, Australia or New Zealand to lose all their remaining matches, drastically reduce their net run rate, and crash out of the tournament.
If they both lose, then the highest run rate will again go through… unless the West Indies, Bangladesh or Ireland storm home in a blaze of glory, amassing a zillion runs along the way. Unlikely.
Zzzzzzzz… Wake me up when it’s over.
Vale.
The annual Head of River regatta was thrown into mass confusion last weekend, as drug testers descended on the event.
Anti-doping officials have defended drug testing schoolboy rowers in the nude, saying it is a common procedure and the regatta was raided after a tip-off from an insider.
The private schoolboys, from Newington College and Sydney Church of England Grammar School (Shore), gave samples to Australian Sports Anti-Doping Authority officials at an inter-school regatta on March 17.
Under the international drug-testing standard, the boys had to pull their shirts up to their chests and drop their pants in the presence of a chaperone from the authority.
According to insider sources, half of the boys grabbed their ankles after removing their pants, and the other half started looking around for a packet of Saos.
When the authorities explained to them that they had to piss into a cup, they gladly obliged, but chaos again ensued as they commenced a strange ritual to decide which of them had to drink it.
Investigations are continuing.
I love it how the government’s new media laws are promoting such great diversity.
Chaser’s winning the war
ABC TV’s decision to ditch the long-running comedy program The Glasshouse and replace it with The Chaser’s War on Everything on Wednesday nights has been vindicated in the ratings.
The Chaser team returned in fearless form for its second season to an audience of almost 1.2 million, a figure which went close to doubling last season’s average of 618,000 viewers in the Wednesday night timeslot.
Whether it was the Chaser’s promotional efforts, which included a billboard in Iraq, or simply the move to a prime time spot, that contributed to the impressive ratings, the team was pleasantly surprised.
In the first show of the year Andrew Hansen paid a backhanded musical tribute to former Today Tonight host Naomi Robson, while Julian Morrow attempted to borrow speeding judge Marcus Einfeld’s car.
Chris Taylor said today the ratings result was “bittersweet”.
“On the upside, over a million people watched the show. On the downside, Naomi Robson wasn’t one of them,” he said.
The Chaser’s challenge now will be keeping the audience after what the ABC said was its highest rating program this year in the category of viewers aged 16 to 39.
“One million viewers tuned in, but I’m guessing 900,000 of them made a decision never to do so again,” said Taylor.
In a slow night for television overall, it was Seven News which finished on top with 1.45 million viewers ahead of Network Ten’s House and Today Tonight.
The Chaser finished ninth for the night, narrowly behind big budget American drama Heroes.
The FINA World Swimming Championships crept into the top 10 with 1.17 million viewers.
- Fairfax publications
The Chaser’s war on ratings
THE ABC’s decision to ditch the long-running comedy program The Glasshouse and replace it with The Chaser’s War on Everything on Wednesday nights has been vindicated in the ratings.
The Chaser team returned in fearless form for its second season to an audience of almost 1.2 million, a figure which went close to doubling last season’s average of 618,000 viewers in the Wednesday night timeslot.
Whether it was The Chaser’s promotional efforts, which included a billboard in Iraq, or simply the move to a prime time spot, that contributed to the impressive ratings, the team was pleasantly surprised.
In the first show of the year Andrew Hansen paid a backhanded musical tribute to former Today Tonight host Naomi Robson, while Julian Morrow attempted to borrow speeding judge Marcus Einfeld’s car.
Chris Taylor said today the ratings result was “bittersweet”.
“On the upside, over a million people watched the show. On the downside, Naomi Robson wasn’t one of them,” he said.
The Chaser’s challenge now will be keeping the audience after what the ABC said was its highest rating program this year in the category of viewers aged 16 to 39.
“One million viewers tuned in, but I’m guessing 900,000 of them made a decision never to do so again,” said Taylor.
In a slow night for television overall, it was Seven News which finished on top with 1.45 million viewers ahead of Network Ten’s House and Today Tonight.
The Chaser finished ninth for the night, narrowly behind big budget American drama Heroes.
The FINA World Swimming Championships crept into the top 10 with 1.17 million viewers.
-Murdoch publications
Glorious!
Days since Joel’s last classic schooner rant
General | stu | 
April 16, 2007 3:23 pm | 
Comments (5) 
