By: Kevin Rudd

Kevin Rudd — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 11:29:54 +0000

Dear Stuart,
Should I give you a response, I ask myself? Yes. I think I should. You must understand, however, that as leader of this great bureaucratic department we call “Government” (a subset of the tremendous institution we call “Australia”) I do have a lot on my plate, besides this pollution digdoggery. But “Kapow!”: here is my reasoning, and hopefully you’ll go “poof!” up in a puff of smoke and leave me alone.
I spent most of the morning fiddle-faddling around in my grey pyjama suit, pondering whether I should set up an Australian Bureau for Ironing to deal with Therese’s decidedly pathetic housewifery. I’ll certainly call some round table proceedings with Wayne to discuss whether it’ll fit into the next budget.
I spent the next eleven and a half minutes brushing my teeth. This exercise, truth be told, is quite the mission for a reasonable prime ministerial fellow like me, given my rather diminutive oral cavity. My father always told me that ‘a big mouth will get you nowhere’. It’s true (look at that slackjawed yobbo Mr Howard), but all the same I presume this was because my father was also a small-mouthed bastard.
As my toothbrush thrusted in and out, graceful as a dromedary through the eye of a needle, I devised with my eighteen-point plan to save the planet from “floods”, and “warming of the globe”. Eighteen points, I ask myself? Yes, that is correct, eighteen points. I currently only have 6 points but I will be sure to fill out the rest in quick time, with the help of the Righteous Wong. As to the 6 I have mentioned, well, we are developing them 24/7. Does that answer your question, I ask myself? Yes, I think it does. Everything that can be done is being done. If you wish to disagree, don’t bother addressing me a letter as I can already see you. We’re always monitoring. Even Right Now.
To that end, put some clothes on, Stuart. Nakedness in front of the computer breaches Art. 6840-1 of the Australian Internet Protection Act.
With Kind Regards,
Kevin Rudd.

By: Foster

Foster — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 13:57:19 +0000

Classic as always Stu – food for thought and the ratings scheme is nothing if not genius

By: Duncan

Duncan — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 07:03:35 +0000

That’s ridiculous Richard. The economic climate has changed significantly since the Coalition got the arse. Is this scheme rubbish? Yes. Considering that Howard was still questioning the importance of climate change in April 2007, would the Coalition’s response have been better? Not fucking likely. In fact, here’s what Turnbull had to say: “We have to remember that we have a lot of industries in this country which provide a lot of jobs, and a lot of prosperity, which are emissions-intensive and which compete with countries that are very unlikely to have, in the forseeable future, an emission trading scheme or a carbon tax.” Should Labor have done better? Yes. Would the Coalition have done better? No.

By: Richard

Richard — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:44:35 +0000

lucky middle Australia voted for a change in government and policy.

Comments on: Stilts and Houseboats

By: Kevin Rudd

By: Foster

By: Duncan

By: Richard