There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer.
Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong. The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion “Why don’t close all the windows, get out, get back in, then open the windows again, and maybe it’ll work!”
This has some relevance to yesterday’s rant I guess.
From Peter Nicholson.
A naked man suffered burns to one-fifth of his body when he tried to set fire to a spider at a nudist resort in the NSW southern highlands.
The 56-year-old Sydney man tried to kill what he thought was a funnel web spider by pouring petrol down the spider’s burrow and igniting it with a match, the NRMA CareFlight service said.
But the fuel exploded and the man was left with burns to 18 per cent of his body, on the upper leg and buttocks.
The incident happened shortly before 1.30pm (AEDT) today at the resort, at the junction of the Wollondilly and Wingecarribee rivers, west of Bowral.
Resort staff treated the man before paramedics arrived to stabilise him.
The man was flown by helicopter to Sydney’s Concord Hospital, where he was in a stable condition on arrival shortly before 4pm (AEST).
Resort guests told emergency crews it was probably a harmless trapdoor spider and not a deadly funnel web, CareFlight said.
The man’s lack of clothing probably contributed to the extent of his burns, the rescue chopper service said.
Next time, pick on something your own size. Yet another reason why old men should wear clothes.
Rakyat Merdeka provides us with the cartoon of the week:
5 extra points for including a marsupial in the cartoon. I can’t translate what he’s saying, one service suggested “Please, you played”, but that doesn’t sound right. Any Indonesian speakers out there care to enlighten me?
–Edit:–
According to a quality Murdoch publication, he’s saying “Try to make it happen”. Thanks Rupert.
Check out this remake of the Aussie tourism ad. I don’t know if I’m breaching any kind of copyright laws, but it was from The Chaser’s War On Everything. I’m not sure if this is more or less controversial than the original one, but it’s at least 57% more entertaining.
What kind of person can’t outrun a Suzuki in a Lamborghini?
The road rage incident started with a glance and quickly became one of the more bizarre pursuits on Sydney’s roads.
As the driver of a yellow Lamborghini sat in peak hour traffic in Homebush at around 8.20am yesterday he flashed an annoyed look at the driver of a Suzuki Swift, who was booming music out of his car stereo, say police.
It was hardly a call to arms, but his frown provoked a 30-minute pursuit along Parramatta Road from Homebush to Glebe as the Lamborghini attempted to get away from the clearly agitated driver of the Suzuki, who tailgated the supercar and at one point even attempted to ram it.
“The Suzuki Swift was changing lanes, getting behind the Lamborghini and tailgating and also coming beside the Lamborghini at lights and revving [his car] and yelling at the driver,” Inspector Sue Trusty of Glebe Police told smh.com.au.
Despite being hopelessly outclassed by the supercar, the driver of the diminutive hatchback managed to pursue the Lamborghini through heavy traffic to Glebe, where the frightened driver flagged down a police car.
Police were unable to catch the Suzuki as it sped down a side street and disappeared.
The shaken Lamborghini driver lodged an incident report with officers at Glebe police station, leaving his car parked in Talfourd Street in a restricted area reserved for police cars.
He was then given a lift home by police, leaving the luxury vehicle to be picked up by his company.
Inspector Trusty suggested the driver of the Suzuki may have been suffering from delusions of grandeur during the pursuit.
“When they were stopping at lights he was the one revving up. He must have been delirious if he thought he was going to drag [the Lamborghini] off.”
The high-end Lamborghini, one of only 60 in Australia, can reach 100kmh in 4.3 seconds and has a top speed of over 300kmh. The Suzuki Swift hits 100/kmh in 10.0 seconds and has a top speed of 190kmh.
Police inquiries are continuing.
50 points to the man in the Swift for effort. Minus a million to the man in the lamborghini for being a pussy. More proof that luxury cars are merely penis extensions. Except for Jaguars of course.
This should keep you amused for a few hours. Check out all the cartoons at explosm.net. It’s funny stuff.
These guys are running what the call a “smut for smut” stall, where you can trade in a bible for a porno. A good idea, you might say, but why not go one step further? Start up a “Gideon’s Playboy” and leave a copy in every hotel room in the country. Genius!
Three Engineers
Humour | stu | 
April 15, 2006 12:59 pm | 
Comments (1) 
