Rann vs Turnbull

5 days out from the first sitting of parliament for 2007, the political arm-wrestle over possibly the most important issue facing Australia has begun. In the blue corner, the newly promoted Malcolm Turnbull, Minister for the Environment and Water Resources. In the red corner, Mike Rann, Premier of South Australia.

Round One.

“I’m not prepared to run up the white flag on South Australia’s future,” Mike Rann said.

“I’m not prepared to trade away South Australia’s constitutional rights lightly, so what I’m in the process of doing is bargaining.”

Rather limp and inocuous comments here, which is exactly what we’d expect from an old incumbent like Rann. He doesn’t appear to have any clear offensive strategy, and this talk of bargaining is quite ludicrous given the nature of the modern political game. It’s all or nothing Mike.

“Mike Rann’s position is quite baffling and it seems as though he’s miffed that it isn’t his idea,” Mr Turnbull said.

“He reminds me somewhat of a drowning man who’s thrown a life jacket and throws it back because it doesn’t match his tie,” Mr Turnbull said.

“I mean, this is a life saver for South Australia and Mike should recognise it.”

Good to see Turnbull wading in here with fists flailing. He’s scored a couple of crucial early points here, and if he continues along this line could really come out on top in this battle. First round points go to Turnbull for sure.

“How can a man drown if there is no water to drown in?”, Mr Rann asked.

Or something like that - I haven’t been able to source an actual quote for this one, but I heard it on the news this morning and it should be in the ABC’s podcast. This is a pretty lame comeback, even by state politician standards.

Mr Howard then weighed into the argument, replying to Rann’s initial request to form an independant body.

“It’s basically surrendering the responsibility that I was given by the Australian people,” Mr Howard said.

“I was elected to try and solve the nation’s problems, I’m trying to solve one of the nation’s problems with this proposal.”

Turnbull seems to have decided that his initial blows were enough to win him the fight, and has sent in his boss to deliver the coup de grace. Rann, however, still had time for one last attempt to win the battle.

“This is an extraordinary example of arrogance by the Federal Government,” Mr Rann said.

“There’s absolutely the taste of Malcolm Turnbull in all of this and so whatever happens you know that he won’t be drinking treated water, he’ll be washing his hair in Perrier water in Piper Point.”

Got him! Out of nowhere, Rann steps up to deliver the goods. A direct attack on the class divide between Middle Australia, and the politician in charge of their water.

So, Mike Rann wins this day’s scuffle. We’re still waiting for Peter Garrett to have his say, but as a federal Labor politician, he’ll probably be about 3-4 days behind everyone else. Until then, keep praying for rain, because the politicans sure as hell aren’t going to deliver.